I am not supposed to write here right now, well, the true is that I'm not supposed to do anything but studying. I feel like a robot processing information day after day. I am writing in English because most of the time I am reading, writing, listening to English (what about thinking? dreaming?). The thing is that today I need to unleash my thoughts, or at least to try it. Overwhelmed by melancholy by scattered memories from the past. Where you are now, how you are feeling, what you are thinking about. Maybe you are drinking eating kissing struggling for pleasure as I do (as Mertens did) or sleeping or you are thinking (as I am) that Americans made the wrong choice, that people lost their brains long time ago (It's colonization's fault). But is it not the same in Spain? Is it not the same in every single part of the world? This tiny-toy world. I am becoming old. 26 years old. I wonder who I will feel within 25 years. Too many burdens. Today I have no faith in human race. I look around and decide that I do not want offspring. The earth is our only heritage, our reduced-to-gases heritage. Ginsberg said that the burden of the world is love.When the levee breaks sounds in my mind. Over and over again.
|TYGER, tyger, burning bright|
|In the forests of the night,|
|What immortal hand or eye|
|Could frame thy fearful symmetry?|
When the levee breaks I don't wanna stay.